


Roll Away your Stone

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Ableism, Fluff, M/M, but the character having ableist thoughts gets over it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-27
Updated: 2013-04-27
Packaged: 2017-12-09 15:37:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/775874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are useless members in this company, and Kili does NOT appreciate being forced to babysit them. He is a fierce warrior, not a nanny.<br/>Even if Bilbo and Bifur are a lot more fun to be around than he'd ever have imagined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roll Away your Stone

**Author's Note:**

> I like rare pairings and I regret nothing.  
> Kili/Bifur FTW  
> On a more serious note, I chose to write Iglishmek as a very basic language because I feel it should be one? I feel like it's something that wouldn't normally be used for long every day conversation, but more to warn or discuss some specific things discreetly, so it would have its limitations. I also remember reading that it maybe wasn't the same language everywhere, so it'd be fair to suppose Kili and Bifur don't know quite the same variation, forcing them to use only very basic signs. Furthermore, Bifur would usually use a mix of signs and of Old Khuzdul to talk, but Kili is an unlearnt spoiled prince who only speaks the more modern version, thus bringing more problems, yay :D

"Bofur, Gloin, get wood for the fire. Bombur, Oin you're in charge of food. Dori, Ori, Fili, make sure the ponies have water and grass. Dwalin, Balin, Gandalf, we need to talk about the road for tomorrow. Kili, make yourself useful and keep an eye on Bifur and the hobbit."

The youngest prince almost shouted at the unfairness of it all. Everyone was doing something useful, and he was just... cast aside, with the dead weights that were Bifur and Mr Boggins. And that was two days only into their travel! He wanted to protest, but one look at his uncle told him that it would be a very bad idea indeed. So he went to join the other two, grumbling and kicking into rocks as he went.

The hobbit and Bifur were sitting on the ground, near a patch of flowers, and were apparently making necklaces out of these.

"You've got to be joking," the prince sighed angrily. "Mr Boggins, I can't believe you dragged him into this!"

"He's the one who started it!" the hobbit protested. "And it's a perfectly honest past-time, too. Mister Beefer is very good at it, I must say."

"That's _Bifur_. And I can't believe anyone would want to do something like that ever for. You know. For fun. What's fun in playing with... bits of greens?"

Bifur grunted. /Lots of fun/ he signed. /Don't like it, don't do it. We not need company./

"Yeah, well, I've been sent to keep an eye on you two, so that's too bad but you're gonna have my company _anyway_."

"I didn't say anything!" the hobbit exclaimed, looking rather confused.

"I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to _him_."

"He didn't say anything either."

"Yeah, he did," Kili assured him, rolling his eyes at the little one. "Well, he signed it, same difference. He's crazy and he can't talk properly any more, so he's got to sign now. Well, it's that or the old tongue, but really who even understands it any more?"

/Not crazy/ Bifur angrily protested. /Many speak old Khuzdul. You speak only modern and Westron. _Shame_ for a prince./

Kili rolled his eyes again. He was _not_ going to be lectured by a mad dwarf with an axe in his skull who thought flowers were _fun_. He didn't know old Khuzdul because it was boring and _useless_ and you only found it in ancient books (which were only good for the likes of Balin or Ori) or in specific rituals (most of which were performed by the king or his heir, meaning it was no concern of his). He had better things to do with his time than to learn a dead language. He was a _warrior_ after all.

"What did he say?" Mister Boggins asked.

"Nothing important. Told you, he's just crazy. Come on, can't we talk of something interesting? Like, I don't know... why do you have hair on your feet? No offence, but that's _weird_."

He then proceeded to ignore Bifur for the rest of the evening, and to thoroughly embarrass their burglar with as many invasive questions as he could think of, until Gandalf finished talking to Thorin and rescued the little one.

Hobbits were a rather funny bunch.

* * *

 

It soon became a habit. Every night, every one was given something interesting and important and useful to do, while Kili was sent to babysit. He hated it. Bilbo had soon stopped answering his questions, to instead ask some of his own. He was clearly as curious about the dwarves as Kili was about hobbits, and was very confused by them all.

To be honest, sometimes Kili felt confused to. The hobbit questioned things that he'd always accepted as natural, such as the hiding of the sacred language, or why all dwarves were referred to as male in Westron, or the cultural significance of the symbols on their hair decorations.

They were just _decorations_ , there was no special _meaning_ to them.

Was there?

Some evenings, Bifur would sigh at his lack of knowledge, and sign to him what he should tell the hobbit. Their language was hidden and forbidden to strangers because it was a gift from Mahal to the dwarves only. All dwarves were males in Westron because they all wore the same sort of clothes when travelling, for safety reason, and fitting the language to that fact helped maintain the illusion in doubtful company. The hair and beard decoration and styling had different meaning depending on clan, age, trade, marital status.

But on other evenings, the older dwarf did not participate in their little cultural exchange. Sometimes it was a headache that took him away from the conversation. Or he would find a piece of wood, or a blade of grass, and he would stare at it and inspect in from every angle until the moment Bombur would shove a bowl of whatever they were eating that night in his hands.

Kili did not really talk to Bifur the rest of the time. During the day he had better companions to spend time with, such as his brother, or Dwalin, or Nori, or virtually anyone who wasn't Bifur or Bilbo. Even at nights, he only talked to them because his uncle asked him to make sure the other two weren't in anyone's way. A part of him suspected that Thorin also wanted to make sure _he_ wasn't in anyone's way, but he refused to listen to it.

Just as he refused to admit that he was starting to rather enjoy his quiet evenings with them.

* * *

 

/Ask why want to know if dwarves lie with males. Strange for hobbits?/

Bilbo blushed deeply when the question was translated to him.

“We... it's not all that... it happens of course, but not... it's not _common_.”

“Really? That's weird,” Kili laughed. “It happens a lot for dwarves.”

/Not lot/ Bifur corrected. /Some prefer work/

“Oh, right. It's common for those who have interest in such things,” Kili explained to the hobbit. “But many dwarves are too focused on their work to take lovers. Like Oin, or Balin. I think Bifur too.”

/No me/ the older dwarf protested. /Enjoy company. Having someone to talk. Nice./

Kili threw him a surprised look.

“You took lovers before...you know?” he made a vague gesture toward his forehead, not daring to say anything too direct about the axe in the other's skull.

/Before, married. Now, widower. Still take lovers. Head affected. Not the rest/

The idea of Bifur being intimate with anyone felt... strange. No one had ever told him that people with great wounds or who had lost their mind weren't supposed to take lover, but he knew it all the same. It wasn't done. Bifur was _broken_. Broken people didn't have sex.

It just wasn't done.

* * *

 

Kili wasn't jealous at all when Ori started joining them whenever he had finished whatever chore he had been given.

He really wasn't.

But that was Kili's personal moment with his two personal burdens, and he did not feel like sharing any of it with some silly little scholar who liked books and scholarly things and was generally a great bore. Pretty, but a bore.

A bore who was monopolizing the conversation, all because he knew more about dwarvish lore than Kili did, and was always quicker to answer Bilbo's questions, and discussed with Bifur as if they were old friends.

That part stung, for some reason.

Kili was the one who was supposed to translate the older dwarf's signs. That was how it was meant to be. It was the one thing he was good at. It was the one thing he could share with Bifur, and the one moment they talked, and Ori just had no right to get in the middle of that.

But he did.

And Kili wasn't jealous.

But it felt just as bad as if he had been.

So he negotiated with his uncle, and suggested that Ori seemed very happy to be with the other two, while he could probably find many other ways to make himself useful. Thorin had seemed doubtful at first, but he'd given in.

And Kili had left the other three in peace.

* * *

 

"What on earth did Ori do to you to make you so damn angry?" Fili asked him one night, soon after that.

They'd been sent to watch over the ponies. Kili wasn't sure if it was an improvement over watching after Bifur and Bilbo, but at least he didn't have to look at them having so much fun with mister I-am-a-clever-scholar.

Bifur had never smiled at him that way.

Not that Kili wanted him to smile at him. Not at all. He did not care if some crazy old lunatic liked him or not. But it would have been _nice_ , that was all.

"I'm not angry at Ori," he grumbled. "He's not worth anyone's anger. He's boring and ugly and _boring_."

"He's many things, but certainly not ugly," Fili protested. "Very far from ugly. Wouldn't mind to help him get warm in the winter, if you know what I mean."

"I do know what you mean, and I wish I didn't. Fine, so he's pretty. Still boring."

"The hobbit doesn't seem to think so. They're barely ever apart lately. I'm not claiming there's something going on, but you know... Well, they'd make a pretty pair. Bifur is a lucky dwarf to have found these two. I'll have to ask him how he did it."

Kili felt something twist painfully inside his chest.

"You think the three of them..."

"We've all started taking bets," Fili explained with a wicked grin. "You've made me lose money, by the way. My first bet was on you going sweet for Bifur, but it didn't happen. You'll have to pay for that some day."

“Bifur?” the younger prince stammered. “You bet on me bedding Bifur? But he's... there's... He's got... he's crazy! He's got an axe in his head and he's crazy!”

“Yeah, that's what I thought too, but Nori was betting on it, and it usually pays to follow him for things like that, you know? In a way, I'm sort of relieved that it didn't happen. He is a little... odd. And he doesn't eat meat. At all. He's about as much of a dwarf as Ori is, now that I think of it. No wonder they get along together, and with the hobbit too. Honestly, I understand why you don't want to associate with them any more they're so... you know.”

“No, I _don't_ know, actually,” Kili replied, feeling suddenly angry at his brother, though he couldn't figure out why. Fili had said nothing that he hadn't thought before.

“They're weird and a little freaky,” the blond prince elaborated. “I mean, I'm sure they're all going to be useful to the quest, but they're... not normal, you know?”

Kili frowned, and didn't answer. His brother was right. His three friends were not normal by dwarvish standards. And they weren't his friends, he reminded himself. Just people he sometimes spent time with. Not-normal people who were weird.

He still felt a strange impulse to defend them, but he didn't act on it, instead staring at their ponies.

“Hey, Fee?”

“What? Decided you wanted to shag Bifur in the end?”

“Oh, _shut up_. No, just...didn't we have sixteen ponies?”

* * *

 

Trolls, bad.

Trolls, very, _very_ bad.

Sending a hobbit after trolls: _worse idea of all times_.

Getting cornered by an angry Ori once everything was over: terribly, awfully, dreadfully scary and _bad_.

“If you put him in danger like that again, I'll be very cross, my prince. And I know you think I'm not much at all, and I can't blame you for it, but you won't like me when I'm angry.”

“It was just a joke,” Kili tried to explain. “we didn't mean any harm!”

“It was a very poor joke then, if you don't mind me saying so. Bad enough that you're treating us all cold now, as if you're better than us! Well, you are, of course. You're a prince. But we're a bit disappointed, we thought we got along well, the four of us, and now you won't come at all. We thought. Well, _I_ thought we were becoming friends.”

Kili didn't know how to answer to that. The idea of being friends with them was all at once very appealing and very distressing, and he didn't want to think about it just yet.

“Why are you so protective of the hobbit anyway?” he asked accusingly.

“He's my friend,” the young scholar explained, blushing deeply. “Friends look out for their friends.”

“Ori, do you... do you have a _crush_ on the _hobbit_?”

Somehow, the small dwarf managed to turn even more red.

“I don't see how that's any concern of yours,” he mumbled.

“Hobbits don't lay with other males, he's told me and Bifur. You'll just end up with a broken heart!”

“Maybe other hobbits don't,” Ori replied coldly. “But hobbits don't leave their homes either, and yet here he is. I think I've got a fair chance. And even if he's not interested, then I still like him, and if you do again anything that might hurt him, well, you'll regret it a good deal, be sure of it.”

The young scholar smiled then. And a small, bookish little thing like him shouldn't have been so scary, really.

But he _was_.

Kili promised himself to be _very_ careful with their burglar in the future.

* * *

 

Right after Ori left him to make sure Bilbo was entirely unharmed, it was Bifur's turn to approach the young prince.

/Idiot/ he signed.

“Yeah, you're not the first one to tell me that today. My uncle beat you to it. And Ori.”

/Ori worried for hobbit. I worried for you. Not wait for everyone. Attack trolls. Idiot./

Kili shrugged. Jumping alone in front of the trolls hadn't been his most stupid decision of the night, as far as he could tell. It had made for a rather good diversion, if nothing else.

/Don't do again/ Bifur signed, growling something that Kili didn't quite understand.

* * *

 

A few minutes later, they found the troll's cave, full of gold, weapons, and smelly dead things.

Bifur gave Kili a cow's skull that he had found.

“What am I supposed to do with it?” the prince asked.

/Pretty/ the older dwarf answered, staring at the skull with the same attention he sometimes gave leaves or clouds. /Very pretty./

And that was all the explanation Kili could get out of him, much to Fili's hilarity. The older prince advised him to throw it away as soon as Bifur would be gone, and his little brother nodded, inspecting the strange gift.

In the end, when Bifur went with Ori to check on the ponies, he kept the skull and wrapped it discreetly with his things.

* * *

 

Their encounter with the orcs greatly changed Kili's opinion of Bifur.

Until that point, he had thought that the older dwarf was a little like Ori: a soft soul in a dwarf body. After all, he didn't even eat meat, and he said that it was because an animal's life was worth as much as a person's. And he loved flowers and wood, even playing at carving it some nights, around the fire. Bifur was strange and weird and soft.

Until the moment he stopped being soft, and killed an orc with the great spear he always carried.

Which made sense, really. You didn't carry a spear for _nothing_.

Kili wasn't sure if he'd found that terrifying or incredibly attractive.

It had to be terror that he'd felt, though. He couldn't be attracted to _Bifur_.

Could he?

* * *

 

That they would be going to Rivendell, to a house of elves, had been terrible news. Kili had been raised to despise them. Elves were bad. Elves were stupid. Elves had stupid ears and stupid perfect hair and stupid music.

They also had food, and _beds_.

Thorin could say what he wanted, elves weren't so bad.

Admittedly, the food wasn't all that great, and simply didn't compare to the wonderful feast they had enjoyed at Bilbo's, but it could have been much worse. Kili wasn't all that found of vegetables, but what the elves did with them was a lot more palatable than what his mother called cooking. The Lady Dis had many qualities, but being a good cook wasn't one of them.

So the young prince ate, and didn't complain, though he was almost alone in that. It was particularly funny to see sweet and polite Ori stubbornly refuse to eat anything that wasn't fried or at least covered in fat of some sort, and even their hobbit, though in complete awe of the elves, scowled at his plate.

At least, Bifur, who sat across the room, seemed rather content to not have to sort out the meat.

/Good food for you?/ Kili asked when their eyes met.

/No meat, good/ the older dwarf answered. /But elves, bad cook. Not how prepare carrots./

/You show them. You good cook?/

/Better than them./

Kili didn't snigger, because he was a prince and princes didn't _snigger_ , but it was a close thing.

/If we stay long you show them. Save us. Bad food kill us all./

/I save you then. Poor, sad prince with bad food, I save you./

This time, Kili didn't even pretend he wasn't sniggering, which got him a dark look from his uncle. They were at Lord Elrond's table, and good manners where probably expected of him. Well, to Mordor with good manners. If Fili could shamelessly flirt with Nori in Iglishmek without having anyone protest, Kili didn't see why he couldn't have some fun with a friend.

And Bifur was a friend.

He'd given him a lovely cow skull after all.

/Save me from dinner/ the prince signed with an air of mock distress on his face. /Uncle boring. Elves boring. Talk about swords and old wars. Boring/

/Bofur talk about what sort of stone make the walls. Arguing with Dori and Balin about it. Want to trade?/

/Worse than swords. Not trading./

“Are you talking with Bifur?” Fili suddenly asked, making his little brother jump. “Kili, _seriously_?”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm disrespecting our hosts, I know. But you can't say a thing to me, not with how you are with Nori.”

“I was trying to convince Nori to join me in bed tonight. What are _you_ doing with Bifur?”

“Talking! Just talking, really! And what do you mean you want Nori to share your bed? They've given us the same bedroom, I refuse to...”

“Oh, yeah, about that. Find yourself somewhere else to sleep tonight, I don't want to be disturbed. Try with uncle, or with Dwalin, maybe?”

“They snore and they scream in their sleep.”

“Well, ask Bifur then. Or the hobbit. He likes you well enough, and he doesn't snore.”

“I hate you.”

“And I don't care, because I'm getting _laid_ tonight.”

Kili rolled his eyes, but didn't insist. Instead he tried to catch Bifur's eyes again, but the older dwarf had been dragged in the other's conversation, and didn't turn his way for the remainder of the meal.

* * *

 

When dinner ended, the dwarves were offered a choice between going to their rooms to rest or, if they desired it, joining the elves as they sang and read poetry.

The choice was an easy one for most of them, and only Ori and Bifur stayed, mostly so that Bilbo wouldn't be left alone with the elves.

“Want to come with us?” Ori offered to Kili. “I mean... Nori told me that you'd been kicked out of your room anyway, and I thought... well, I know you don't really like to be with us of course... Sorry, I probably shouldn't have suggested that...”

Kili knew he should have confirmed that it had been a very bad idea, but at the same time he was tempted. And it was that or trying to find a room with people who didn't snore or dream of their old battles, a task virtually impossible in a company of dwarves.

/Come/ Bifur signed to him. /Can be fun. Come?/

The prince refrained a smile.

“Oh, why not? They can never be more boring that uncle and Dwalin when they tell their tales, can they?”

They could.

Elves were boring.

He still had a terrible lot of fun watching Bilbo's awe in front of the tall bastards, and the way Ori tried so hard to catch the hobbit's attention. But the funniest part of the evening was when Bifur improvised a very _naughty_ adaptation in Iglishmek of a poem declaimed in front of them.

It was well worth the cold glares that the elves threw them when they started laughing.

* * *

 

In the end, Kili ended up sharing their hobbit's bedroom, mostly because it was the only one where there was room for him. But Ori and Bifur had been forced to decline, since they were already sharing with their families.

Bilbo didn't seem to mind too much anyway.

“I'm getting used to not sleeping alone,” he joked as they prepared for bed. “It's going to be pretty going back to Bag-End after all that.”

“Just ask Ori to come back with you,” Kili sleepily answered. “He'll probably be happy to help you with that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that he'd be happy to share your bed, given the occasion,” the prince yawned. “You know. A friendly sharing.”

The hobbit gave him a strange look, but did not answer, and remained deep in thought until they went to bed.

* * *

 

“Did you tell Bilbo that I _like_ him?” Ori snarled, pushing the prince against a wall.

Angry Ori.

Bad.

And before Kili had even managed to have breakfast, too. He had overslept, the comfort of being in a proper bed for the first time in weeks winning over his hunger. After a couple hours of just peacefully dozing his stomach had become too noisy to be ignored though, so he had gotten dressed and had left the room.

As soon as he had closed the door behind him, Ori had found him.

“I don't think I told him that,” the prince carefully answered. “I would never have dared to _say_ that you like him, that would have been intrusive.”

“But you told him something, didn't you”

“I was very tired, and the elves had given us wine, so you can't be angry at me!”

“ _What_ did you tell him?”

“I... might have let it slip that you... wouldn't be opposed to sharing his bed?” Kili sheepishly admitted. “Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that! Well, I sort of did, but at the same time I didn't, and... If you're asking me, I supposed he talked to you about it?”

“He _did_.”

“Oh. So... he rejected you, then?”

Ori quickly looked down, blushing.

“Well, not really,” the young scholar replied. “He... apparently he sort of likes me too? But that doesn't excuse the fact that you told him that! So as a punishment, we're kicking you out of the room. Find yourself someone else to sleep with.”

“What?”

“ _Please_? Mahal knows when we'll have another chance at privacy, and...”

“You're just as bad as your brother!” Kili laughed. “I keep changing rooms because of your family! Oh, fine, don't give me that puppy look, I'll find another arrangement. But that's the last time, do you hear me? If Dori wants to get laid too, I'm not helping him.”

* * *

 

It was on the third day of their stay in Rivendell that Bifur asked Kili if he still had the skull he had given him after their encounter with the trolls.

He seemed almost surprised to get a positive answer.

“It was a present,” Kili explained a little defensively. “And you said you found it pretty, so I couldn't very well throw it away, could I?”

/Your brother told you, leave it./

“My brother says many things, and I don't always listen to him. Do you want the skull back, then?”

/Want to see horns. Can carve them./

“You work with that too? I thought you just did wood.”

/Do many things. Want to watch?/

Kili nodded a little more quickly than he probably should have. But he'd always liked watching other people going at their trade, and he had never seen anyone work with horn before.

/Go get it. I show you./

The young prince all but ran to Dori's room where his pack currently was, and he soon came back with the cow's skull. He gave it to Bifur who accepted it with a grunt and started inspecting it closely.

“What are you going to do with it?” Kili asked. “Do you have an idea already? What sort of things can you make with horn anyway? They're big, but not that big, I don't know what you can use them for.”

/You talk too much. I make toys. Small fake people./

“What? Oh, figurines you mean?”

/Yes. No word in Iglishmek. Bad language for toys. Who you want I make?/

Kili looked at him in surprise.

“Why would I get to choose?”

/For you/ Bifur explained, raising the skull a little toward the prince. /Gave the skull to you. Give the toys to you. Fair. What you want?/

A part of Kili wanted to protest that he was far too old to be given toys. That part was entirely unheard under the internal squeal of joy at the idea that _he was going to be given toys_.

“Oh, do anything you want, really! As long as you're the one making it, I'm sure it'll be amazing!”

/Not helping/ Bifur pointed out, though he seemed rather pleased by the compliment. /But fine. I have idea. Now, you quiet./

Bifur set to work then, and Kili watching him avidly. The older dwarf's gesture were slow, almost measured and controlled as he always carefully inspected the horns in his hands before putting his knife on them.

Kili had always been taught that there was not art more noble and admirable than the working of metal, but this seemed just as wonderful to him, and he didn't see the hours pass away while he observed those strong hands handling carefully the horn.

Evening was falling when Bifur was eventually forced to stop, his hands trembling and his face distorted in pain.

/Head hurt/ he signed shakily. /Stop now. Finish later./

“Of course! Can... Can I do anything to help you?”

/Water. Get Bofur. He know./

“Yes. Yes, I'll... Don't move! I'll be back with water and your cousin in a second, don't move!”

Kili was sure he had never run that fast as he did then, trying to find Bofur. It was not unusual for Bifur to get headaches, and with a wound like his it was no surprise, but that one seemed particularly bad. Thankfully, it did not take him long to find Bofur, laughing and joking with the others, and the older dwarf immediately agreed to follow him when he learned that his cousin was in pain.

“Grab some water, lad. Did he do anything strange before?”

“No, he was just carving that horn, and suddenly his hands started shaking and...”

Bofur grunted angrily. “Damn stubborn fool. Knows he can't work for long, but he still does it. Well, better hurry then.”

When they came back near Bifur, the toy-maker was slouched in a corner, clutching at his head and breathing heavily. Bofur quickly knelt down next to him, and gave him some water that the other readily accepted. He then started massaging his cousin's scalp, slowly and delicately, avoiding his scar and the axe. After a few minutes, Bifur seemed to relax a little, and Bofur gave him some more water.

“He'll be okay?” Kili asked. “I'm sorry, I should have noticed earlier that there was a problem...”

Bofur turned toward him, looking surprised to still find him there.

“Ye're not to blame, laddie,” he assured him. “Bifur's an old fool, he knows his troubles, and he should be the one to act careful. But if ye want, I'll show ye how to m'ssage him, so ye know what to do next time, eh?”

“Yes please! I mean, if Bifur doesn't mind?”

“Why would he mind? Can't harm to have more people who can help him, can it?”

“I suppose, but...”

“That's a deal, then. We'll do that when he's better. Now ye can go back to the others, princeling, I'll take care of him.”

Kili nodded, but didn't move until Bifur signed to him that he was better, and that there was nothing to worry about.

* * *

 

“What _are_ you doing with Bifur?” Fili asked him on the fifth day. “I'm not one for judging other people, but...”

“That's a lie,” Kili replied dryly. “You judge people all the time.”

“Yeah, okay, maybe I do. But I try not to judge _you_ too much if I can help it, only you're _flirting_ with a dwarf old enough to be your dad, and who's completely crazy!”

“He's not crazy!” the younger brother protested. “He's really not. He's clever, and he's good with his hands, and he's nice and funny. Just because sometimes he forgets other people are around, or because he gets headaches, that doesn't mean he's mad.”

Kili expected more teasing after that, but it didn't come. Instead, Fili stared at him.

“Kee, do you... do you _like_ him?”

“No!”

“Because if you do...”

“I don't!”

“... it's okay, it really is.”

“It's n... what?”

Fili grinned at him.

“He's pretty weird, and I don't know what you see in him, but if he's the one you like, then that's fine by me. I trust you to choose someone who deserves you.”

“Oh. Thanks, I guess? But I don't... I _think_ I don't like him that way?”

“Well, if you decide you do, don't forget to tell me. Nori and me will have a few bets to place.”

Kili punched his brother in the arm, and growled that his love life was not a source of income for anyone, but he didn't really mind.

He still didn't like Bifur, though.

Well, he did.

As a friend.

A good friend.

Whom he liked a lot.

* * *

 

It was on the morning of the last day of their stay there that he found the two figurines on his pack. Two dwarves, one with a bow on his hand, the other with a head wound. If Kili hadn't known any better, it might have looked like a courting gift.

Even knowing any better, it looked like a courting gift.

Kili wasn't sure how he should react. The way his heart had leaped in joy in his chest almost alarmed him. This was not how you reacted to a friend's present. You didn't grin stupidly and stare for what felt like hours at a friend's present. You didn't wonder what you could give in exchange if it really was a courting gift at a friend's present.

Oh.

So maybe he _did_ like Bifur a little, after all.

There was only one thing he could do, then. He had to go find the older dwarf, ask what the gift really meant, and react accordingly. Easy. Scary and stressful and he didn't know what he'd do if Bifur didn't return his feelings, but in _theory_ it was easy.

Another easy thing to do was to find the toy-maker, who was having breakfast with his cousins. The actual talking to him, on the other hand, was fairly difficult, but with the two figures held tight in his hand, he gathered his courage and came near.

“Good morning, mister Bifur,” he said, far more politely and formally than he normally would have. “I hope I do not disturb you, but there is a matter that I wish to discuss with you, if you do not mind?”

Bifur glanced at his hand, frowned, and stood up.

/Somewhere private/ he signed, before walking away.

Kili nodded, and followed. That Bifur felt a need for privacy was a good sign, wasn't it? It had to be. Kili hoped it was.

They found a small garden a little way away from the building where the company had been invited to stay. It was a nice place. Kili, who certainly had _never_ read any elvish romance in his life, thought that the garden looked exactly the sort of place where great tragic elves professed their love for one another. He wasn't sure if it was encouraging or not.

/Good place/ Bifur signed. /No one come. You want something?/

“Yes, I've got something to ask. It's about the figurines you made for me,” Kili explained, showing the two little figures in his hand. “They're very beautiful, and I'd never have imagined that it was possible to do anything so _amazing_ with just horns! But I was wondering, that is to say, your choice of subjects...”

/Bad idea/ Bifur quickly explained. /Bad choice. Sorry. You forget it. Just friendship./

“Oh, no, no! I certainly can't forget! It's... It made me very happy, really. But I was wondering... Maybe I'm being stupid, but it... well, courting gifts are supposed to represent both parties and I thought... That is to say, I hoped... Oh, I'm shit at this!” Kili growled, annoyed at the way words kept escaping him. He took a deep breath, and decided to try again, another way. “Mister Bifur, do you like me? Because I like you a lot, and I'd be very happy if you liked me too. And if you don't, I'd be very to just be friend with you.”

Bifur stared at him in surprise, and for a moment Kili thought that figurines had not been a courting gift at all, that he had just misunderstood a nice gesture for something it wasn't.

But then, a large smile appeared on the toy-maker's lips.

/I like you too. Not sure you like me. That why I leave present in bag./

Kili grinned, feeling his cheeks warming and not caring one bit. With his free hand, he took one of Bifur's.

“I'm glad you did that. I don't know if _I_ would have dared to do anything.”

Partly because he'd been so convinced that he had no such feelings, but that was something best left unsaid for the time being.

“So, does it mean we're courting now?”

Bifur nodded. /You need give gift too./

“Yes, yes, I'll find something. And it'll be awesome. Well. I'll do my best anyway, I doubt it'll be half as nice as yours, but I'll do my best!”

/Sure it will be perfect./

Kili's grin widened. “I'll try. But, well. I was wondering. We're courting now. So. Does it mean I can kiss you?”

Not that the young prince had thought of kissing Bifur before. Well, he hadn't thought of him kissing Bifur, at least. Not much, anyway. But he had wondered about it in a more general way since the day the older dwarf had told him that he'd had lover since his... accident. With dwarven kisses being bumps of forehead against forehead, the axe in Bifur's skull had to make things a little difficult.

And indeed, the toy-maker seemed rather apprehensive at the idea.

/Kiss, bad idea. Dangerous./

“Maybe if we're careful? If you really don't want to, we don't have to, but I'd like to try, at least once?”

Bifur seemed to hesitate, but he eventually nodded, and Kili all but leaped in joy. He forced himself to stay calm though, and leaning down, he slowly leaned down to put his forehead against the unharmed side of Bifur's head. It felt a little strange, and it wasn't something he had done often because he hadn't had many lovers serious enough to kiss them.

“That seemed to work well enough,” he stuttered, blushing as he pulled away. “Worked for me, anyway.”

/Worked well/ Bifur agreed, smiling and squeezing the prince's hand tenderly. /Worked very well./

Kili smiled brightly, and kissed him again.

* * *

 

Fili wasn't surprised when they announced it. Neither was Bofur. Ori and Bilbo just exchanged a knowing look, while Nori gathered the money his bets had won him.

Thorin did frown, but that was expected from him. He always frowned anyway. Still, he didn't seem to particularly disapprove, and only asked that they did not let this little romance distract them from their duties on the quest.

/Your uncle look like he ate lemons./ Bifur noted when the king turned away to give instruction for their secret departure of that night. /He never smile?/

/Not often,/ Kili answered, trying not to laugh. /He happy. I happy, so he happy. You?/

/Happy too/ the toy-maker signed with a fond smile. /Very happy./

 

The end


End file.
